Apparently, it is a well-established fact that my gift wrapping skills lack a certain something, like the ability to cut paper in a straight line, make even corners and cut enough paper off the roll the first time to completely cover the package I am intending to wrap. Five-year-olds wrap presents better then I do.
I was attempting to wrap a present the other day, when my youngest took it away from me and finished it herself. I do have my neat and precise moments and I can certainly pay attention to detail and deliver a beautiful finished product. However, those abilities fail me when it comes to making wrapping paper, a box and tape work together cohesively. I even have problems making gift bags look attractive. I secretly envy people whose gift-wrapping skills are works of art. My attempts look like someone at least worked on it, but without any precision.
Last year, I had a lot of fun reworking a popular Christmas song to give it my own personal touch. I decided to make this an annual thing. As there are about 50 standard holiday songs out there, played in 100 variations on every radio station in the south east, I should have plenty to work with over the years. I hope you enjoy this years “Miss Mom’s Christmas Song”, and Happy Holidays.
My Need to Wrap Things
sung to My Favorite Things
Spun sugar roses, whiskered stuffed kittens
Bright colored sweatshirts and warm woolen mittens
Gross tons of packages UPS brings
These are a few of my need to wrap things
Acres of paper in holiday patterns
Mile after mile of shining gold ribbons
Rolls of scotch tape and gift tags galore
All will be used for my need to wrap things.
When the paper cuts,
Then the bows fall off
And the ribbons sag,
I go to plan B with my need to wrap things
And pull out all those gift bags.
Trying to wrap all those oddly shaped boxes
Glitter is stuck to my nose and eyelashes
Christmas is nearing, there’s so little time
To get to all of my need to wrap things.
Out of foil wrap
Out of scotch tape
Out of gift bags too
I look at the last of my need to wrap things
And slap on some bows with glue.
Sylvie Galloway
mom, hairdresser, writer, who is trying to stay one step ahead of marauding dust bunnies.
