Miss Mom: It Takes A Village

Each week I work to come up with new and fresh things to write about. Each week I hope to help you, the reader, relate to what it is like to be a parent, and sometimes even to reminisce about being a child ourselves. My usual forte is to infuse my work with humor as our kids and we parents can be the source of much hilarity. However sometimes we need to step back and realize that for some, there is little humor to be found in life.

There are people out there in real trouble. They are trapped by poverty, by drug or alcohol abuse, by physical abuse, by abandonment or neglect, or by a lack of compassion by the very people they should be able to trust. These people haven’t chosen the place they find themselves, it was chosen for them. These people are helpless, and powerless, often with no one to turn to for help. They often do not understand the dynamics of their situation as many of them are less then 10 years old.

Every time I hear yet another story of a child being abused, being murdered by a family member, being found at the mercy of the courts, of having to live in shelter, my heart weeps. I hope and pray for a world where no child has to suffer the follies of the adults around them. Sometimes a parent or guardian is doing everything they can to provide love and stability, and others in the extended familial relationship rob the peace and security of the home. Sometimes catastrophic illness or an unexpected death of a single parent leaves the kids with no one to care for them. Yes, extended family often can and does step in, but not always. For the kids who have no family or neighbors to turn to there is often little hope.

However there are some heroes out there whose quest is to do what they can to rescue children from dire situations, working as best as they can to help restore peace and harmony to families in trouble, and do what they can, often against phenomenal odds to keep a child and their family from being another tragic statistic. Some of these people, who come from a variety of walks of life and careers work long hours with little or no pay, giving their time and talents so that families can have hope of restoration. Some are nearly overwhelmed with the amount of needed paperwork and caseloads of families and children in danger. Others work in agencies or through the legal system trying to balance compassion, need and the law, in order to come up with the best solution for that family. They work quietly, and behind the scenes and get little or no thanks for what they are doing. They are usually underfunded and understaffed with more and more kids being found in need every day.

Social workers, foster parents, shelter volunteers, court officials, counselors, court appointed advocates and others face the daunting task of trying to help as many families as they can with plenty of obstacles in the way. Sometimes it seems that the very laws written to protect children and families work against the very ones those laws were deemed to help. Yet these men and women strive on, hoping they make a difference, if nothing else in the life of at least one child, and hopefully many more.

Despite their best efforts, the work of these brave men and women is not enough to help every child and every family out there. There is much to be done and seemingly not enough resources out there. However that is not exactly true. There are charities, organizations, private and government agencies that need our support, so they can continue to help those in need. We may not be able to take in a foster child, but we can do simple things like send money or supplies to some of the great agencies out there for kids. There are seasonally minded charities like Angel Tree Ministries, which provides Christmas presents and other needs for children who has a parent in prison, or the long running Toys For Tot’s program which provides toys for needy children nationwide. There are food banks, like the Community Food bank of the Piedmont, where we can send donations to which, according to one source, it is estimated that half of those fed are children.

We can offer financial, or volunteer support to entities like Spartanburg Children’s Center, which offers temporary housing to abused, neglected or abandoned children, or Children’s Advocacy Center of Spartanburg (CACSP), an agency that works with children who have been sexually abused. We can give to the United Way who supports such agencies such as CACSP and the children’s center and others who help children and families. We can support any number of religious or secular charities that directly help children and their families.

Senator Hillary Clinton once mentioned an Old African proverb in a speech she gave during her husband’s presidency. She also authored a book with its title being the quote from the proverb. The now popular proverb states, “It takes a village to raise a child.” While the best people to be the primary raisers of children should be parents, sometimes that is not the right or only option. Sometimes parents need a great deal of help. Sometimes parents are not the right people to be in charge of their own children. Sometimes for circumstances beyond their control, parents find themselves unable to do the job of parenting. Sometimes people in the “village” need to step up and help our children and help them to grow up to be vibrant adults.

That village is us, the community these children live in. Our contributions, even small ones, to the aid of our community can help ensure that more children do not fall through the cracks of despair.

I want to end by saying thank you to all who have sacrificed time and resources to help children and families in need. Whether you volunteered somewhere, or donated at a fund raiser or to any local charity that aids children, or even work in a field that directly helps families, your efforts are not in vain. You have my gratitude as does every child and their families who’s lives have been benefited by your generosity. You may think no one notices what you do . You may think you aren’t making much of a difference. You would be wrong. I am honored to know some of you and what you undertake for these kids makes me want to shout for joy. To me, your actions and dedication are nothing short of heroic.