Ever since I was old enough to read, I’ve read the Spartanburg Herald-Journal. When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time two houses over from my house at my great uncle’s place. For whatever reason, I took up with him and his wife at a very young age so much so that I came to call him “Papa†and her “Grandmaâ€. Papa and Grandma subscribed to the Herald-Journal and in addition to my Dr. Seuss books, my earliest reading material was the paper’s comic page. Even though I didn’t always understand the jokes, I couldn’t wait to check up everyday on the latest exploits of Garfield or read the melancholic musings of Charlie Brown in Peanuts. The times I spent going through the paper with Papa everyday are some of my oldest and most cherished childhood memories.
Papa’s favorite part of the Herald-Journal back in those days was a column that even then was already a Spartanburg institution: “The Stroller“.
Every day without fail, Papa read “The Stroller” before he bothered reading anything else in the paper. He laughed at the invariably corny jokes and either nodded in agreement with or grunted his disapproval at the political musings of whichever armchair politico was lucky enough to have his or her comments published that day. At that time, I wasn’t nearly old enough to understand the writing in “The Stroller”—let alone have an opinion on any of it—but I think the fact that the two things I remember most about the Herald-Journal from my formative years are the comics and The Stroller speaks volumes about the influence the column has had on Spartanburg over the years.
After having said that though, there’s still one completely undeniable fact about “The Stroller”: It’s absolutely terrible in practically every way possible.
I know that in some corners attacking “The Stroller” is tantamount to saying the food at The Beacon isn’t all that good anymore (it isn’t) or that Daniel Morgan was a drunk with a strong penchant for gambling (he was). Some truths are tough to swallow, and while nobody would argue that The Beacon should close its doors because the chili-cheese isn’t as good as it used to be or that Daniel Morgan’s statue should be taken down because he liked his whiskey, every time I read The Stroller I’m forced to ask the question: Why does this column still exist?
In preparation for writing this piece, I committed myself to reading a week’s worth of Lou Parris’s contribution to Spartanburg’s cultural lexicon. For six days—”The Stroller” doesn’t run on Monday—I subjected myself to “quips†that stretch the definition of that word as though it were in a taffy puller, and political “opinions†so poorly thought out they make Sarah Palin’s bumblings look like the writings of George Bernard Shaw. If I thought that “The Stroller” was an accurate representation of what passed for community discourse in Spartanburg, I’d pack up my things right now and move somewhere far, far away.
Don’t take my word for it though, check out this little gem from George Burnett in last Friday’s column: “It is said elections have consequences. That fact becomes clearer day by day. Franken and Pelosi and Reid and Schumer and Obama … how many liberal-socialist pallbearers does it take to bury a republic?”. Or how about this one published on Sunday from Byron Inman about the poor state of Highway 29 going east out of Spartanburg “I pay a lot of taxes on my vehicles, money that is supposed to be used for road improvements, but if this is the kind of work we get, we’re in trouble…It’s just one patch after another from Hillcrest all the way to the Cherokee County line. It’s pitiful.” I can only imagine how soul-crushingly awful Lou Parris’ job must be if all he does is spend his days sorting through pearls like these.
Almost every comment in “The Stroller” not dedicated to thanking some good Samaritan, complaining about some sports team, or talking up some local eatery is dedicated mostly to either complaining about taxes or talking about how awful the socialist, baby-killing, prayer-hating, homo-loving Democrats are. Why any of these things deserve mention in Spartanburg’s largest print publication is beyond me. What civic purpose could the poorly-conceived, mean-spirited rantings of a few of Spartanburg’s senior discount set possibly have?
Democrats and taxes aren’t the only things Stroller contributers complain about though. Easily my favorite segment from last week was Wednesday’s cautionary tale about unethical dealings in the mattress industry. After becoming unsatisfied with his recently purchased mattress, John Kirkland of Moore tried to return it. Apparently though, some sneaky sales person tricked poor Mr. Kirkland into signing a paper declaring his mattress soiled and thus voiding his warranty. Those dastardly mattress people slipped one by him, and now Mr. Kirkland warns us all “don’t sign anythingâ€; sage advice indeed.
Leaving all the complaints about content aside though, what bothers me most about “The Stroller” is how terribly dated the whole thing feels.
The back and forth on political topics reads very much like some sort of archaic forum where the people posting take days to reply to each other. In fact if it weren’t for the bit of editing that Parris does for every segment, the people commenting would sound an awful lot like the people posting on the Herald-Journal’s own forum. That sort of thing probably looked like a pretty interesting way to foster some sort of political debate in the past, but in the digital age it just reads like disjointed nonsense coming from a group of people too technologically inept to know how to start a blog.
In fact, everything “The Stroller” does is done better in the online world. Many of the little updates or “quips†read an awful lot like tweets on Twitter or status updates on Facebook. Take this little ditty from Robin Wright published on Tuesday; “I believe President Barack Obama is going to accomplish one thing. At the rate he’s spending money, he is going to make George Bush look very goodâ€. If you knock off a couple of unnecessary words, that would fit nicely under Twitter’s 140 character limit. And if Robin Wright’s words had appeared on Twitter instead of in the Herald-Journal, I’d at least have had the option of not seeing them right there on the front page of the “Upstate†section.
It’s easy enough to see why” The Stroller” still exists. The Herald-Journal—much like most of the daily newspapers in the country—has a relatively old readership. The people who read “The Stroller” regularly probably don’t have a clue about blogging, Twitter, or Facebook. They’re among the last of a dying breed who don’t realize that the rest of the world is passing them by. When “The Stroller” started back in 1957, it was probably the cutting edge in community journalism. A lot has changed since 1957 though. It’s hard to see any logical reason to keep “The Stroller” going to be honest, and I suspect that if it weren’t for fear of a huge backlash from their most prominent readers, the Herald-Journal would’ve done away with the column years ago.
“The Stroller” will eventually be removed, but I’d be willing to bet that the Herald-Journal won’t take it out until they’re forced to by the natural progression of technology. To put it gently, “The Stroller’s” readers have to…ahem…move on before the column will ever be taken out. Until then, there’s not much use expecting that column space over on the left hand side of B1 to open up to anything actually useful or relevant.
Christopher George is a local blogger. You can read more of his stuff at Flying Oskar.
Christopher George
I don’t really have a problem with The Stroller; sometimes I read it and sometimes I don’t. I agree with the whole thing about the online world making newspapers look more and more archaic–I just wouldn’t single out The Stroller over other content in the newspaper that is just fresher and more informative online. I have no problem with a local newspaper keeping a tradition like The Stroller going–at least from my opinion there is not that much out there that the HJ could print in those column-inches that would somehow drastically increase its readership.
As someone who reads The Stroller (or at least glances at it) on occasion I was surprised at the characterization that somehow the political bent of the column (such that it exists based on the quips and comments published) is somehow anti-Democrat, or anti-liberal, or anti-socialist, etc. I think this observation is off-base. The Stroller regularly publishes comments from liberal-leaning individuals as well, so I don’t think you can fairly characterize the column in the way that has been done. In fact the compiler of the column often alternates between a conservative comment and a liberal comment in the same column. Here are just a couple of examples from recent liberal-leaning quips in the column:
From Tuesday June 30:
“It isn’t President Obama’s fault that people don’t eat out or splurge as Mr. Faulkner does. It’s because of the mass exodus of common sense and the unraveling of the economy and disregard for right and wrong during the previous eight years,” argues Mr. Jones. “How on earth can you blame five months of efforts to fix a broken system, after two Bush terms that got us into this mess?
From June 23:
“When you do not demand meaningful land-use planning and zoning from your county leaders, this is exactly what you get.”
“In 2003, when the Republicans had control of everything, they passed the Fair Housing Act, which allowed people to get a mortgage with no money down. This was the start of the problems we have today. If you want to tell me something, Roy, tell me anything Bush did that helped this country.”
Ryan: Of course “The Stroller” runs the occasional liberal comment. Parris has to give his readership some red meat to sink their teeth into every now and then. It’s the same approach you get on talk radio. One liberal caller to a right-wing radio program can provide enough material to light up the phone banks for hours. The Stroller does that same thing, only in print.
I agree with you that newspapers themselves are becoming somewhat outdated, but I think The Stroller is even more so. It reads like a feature that should exist in Mayberry. Leaving aside politics for a moment, I just don’t think any of the comments found in the column are newsworthy. Take the story about John Kirkland’s mattress. Why is this newsworthy? I wouldn’t even give a damn about this story even if I knew the guy.
The Stroller is filled with this kind of garbage–both political and not–and nobody is going to be able to convince me that there isn’t something more worthwhile the SH-J could be doing with that space. There’s plenty going on in town that they miss already, and not to toot our own horns, but I think the Spark does a pretty good job highlighting that fact. I don’t see the point of keeping a feature that doesn’t seem to have any legitimate function beyond giving the elderly something to complain about every day. I understand it from a business point of view since their readership is older, but it doesn’t work for me from a civic point of view at all.
The Stroller Column reads like Mayberry because a great number of people in Spartanburg, especially those with the Herald-Journal would like for this to be Mayberry, slightly updated. When I was a little younger I would read the Stroller and call Lou with some obnoxious rant about, whatever. I have been misquoted so many times it’s ridiculous. Not that anything was really at stake. I agree with you though, I don’t know if the problem lies in a lack of liberal ideas, the problem is that simply, the newspaper industry is dead. Sure, a lot of people read USA Today, etc. but, I feel that all of the real news that I absorb comes from the internet. In fact, a great deal of my local news comes directly from the Spark. I think a lot of people have come to feel the same way. I suppose this is a good thing. Who really cares if we have an amazing newspaper. It’s usually the same thing in every town anyway. Kudos Chris.
You guys are forgetting that when something is at that level of bad, it becomes awesome.
Long Live the Stroller.
Perhaps you were too young to realize why your papa read the drooler first. It was on the front page.
When the NYT assumed ownership the “drooler” was relegated to the nether region. Reason? NYT playbook says no editorial content on the front page! Huh? Anyway Seymour Rosenburg was dissed. He retired or died, or both, and Lou Parris took over.
Although Lou has tried to wear the mantle of a shameless moocher and purveyor of corny jokes, he has never lived up to old Seymour’s style.
He has continued to be a thorn in many folk’s backside.
The Stroller has never been cutting edge. In fact it is a thinly disguised plagiarism from another character.
Let me know where I can mail you a scrap from an older newspaper and you’ll see what I mean. It could inspire you to write a more in depth essay on this phenomenon.
As to the anachronistic nature of the Stroller column, I might point out that it wasn’t too long ago that being a “twit” did not garner respect.
I am proud of you for reading 6 consecutive columns. Tell the truth now, have you felt the urge to take another peek? It’s kinda like a train wreck, only cleaner.
CM
Daniel: Totally agree. One day you’ll have to let me read the ones where you were misquoted if you have them laying around. I’d love to see what you actually called Lou Parris to rant about. Remember, it’s not nice to pick on the elderly or ignorant, and it’s even worse to pick on people who are both. It sure is fun though.
Camelmike: I was almost sure that I remembered that when Papa used to read The Stroller it was on the front page–even still he made sure to read it even before the front page story–but I wasn’t sure enough to write it, and I couldn’t remember the name of the guy who did it back then. I should have went to the library and did the 5 minutes of looking through microfilm it would’ve taken to know the answer to both of those questions. Chalk that one up to journalistic laziness.
I’ll admit it wasn’t quite the chore I made it out to be making it through 6 days worth of The Stroller. Sometimes it was actually fun, though I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone wanting to feel good about humanity at large.
I’ll send you an e-mail with my address so you can send me a copy of what you’re talking about. I’d really like to see some of that old stuff.
i heard there was something out there called “scanning” that would allow you to send the old Stroller column without resorting to snailmail.~DW
I saw something about that on Video Professor.
Did you find it there or in your keyboarding class last year?